Stu's Rusty Bucket

Monday, August 11, 2003

Edinburgh Tattoo 2003

this is a long piece with a couple of pics in it…

a 5 hour train ride up to edinburgh was fairly uneventfull. we had a short delay at one point but that was about it… The scenery going up, when you hit the coastline after Newcastle is magnificant! Especially around Berwick-Opon-Tweed. Very pictureqsque…

The pub-with-hostel-attached was right outside the station, with Edinburgh castle situated right behind it.. Boy was the hostel a surprise!!! Its the first time Ive stayed in a hostel that your room had its own toilete and shower!! amazing.. Even more amazing was that it only contained 3 beds (1bunk+1single)!! A minor miracle.. Most hostel rooms have about 6+ bunks in them…

After a quick drink in the pub downstairs, I went up the hill to the castle for the Tattoo.

The tattoo was absolutly awesome. When the first pipes were blown, a tingle went up my spine and I could feel the hairs on my neck stand on end! It really was awesome. You could feel the music! I got cramps in my knees and shoulders as the seats were VERY narrow and squishy. Sore on the arse bones as well.

I dont know how to get across how I felt, it was just an awesome show!! The program guide listed a bagpipe band from Adelaide, and one from Dunedin.. but They didnt seem to be in the show.. I think, since they play up to 2 times a night, every day for a month, they must have 2 or 3 different shows so they dont ‘burn out’.. I guess Friday night was not the night to see the Aussie pipers all kilted up..

Some of the photos didnt turn out very well, since the digital camera doesnt have the greatest zoom in the world…

that night I met two young american (cue david bowie song) girls. They were quite nice, and aplomb at the hugeness of the fringe festival and meeting so many people from different countries…

after a bit of a midnight chat it was time to crash.

Saturday was an eye opener, great weather. I wandered around Edinburgh all morning taking in some sights, did the bus tour around the city and general site seeing..

Later that morning there was some march going on, I happened to be at the start of the march point, the Black Chapter of the irish Orange Men were out marching. I dont understand it, not being a church person, catholic/protestant, to me its just different sides of the same crap christian church. So I dont understand it. But these wankers are marching. Apparently they are the Ulster boys, the For England wankers. They are all maching along in groups with banners like ‘Defenders of Prince William’ and ‘Dunfermline Loyal Supporters’ and shit. Its crazy. I kept expecting the British National Front to come goose stepping past.

Its Scotland, not Ireland so WTF is this happening? and right during the Edinburgh International Festival??  Sad fucking bastards.

I wandered up to the Fringe festical and did the whisky tour.. My tour guide was a gorgeous blonde in tartan and black stockings with a sexy Edinburgh accent, and for a whole hour I had her talking to me about whisky.. What more could I have wanted in a woman?? och!

Sexy AND works for a whisky distiller!!

I wandered back down to see some more fringe acts. I swear (really) if I see one more act involving juggling and a unicycle I’ll go mad!! I lost count of how many juggling unicyclists I saw…

Got my caricature done, which was pretty cool.

As I was walking down the cobblestones, I heard a voice yell out.. I thought.. I know that voice! so I wandered over, to see a dance act with some drummers and stuff.. and I spy a woman.. Nah.. IT COULDNT BE! So I kepe watching.. Things are firing in my head.. all these little things are adding up, the eyes, the smile, the face.. IT JUST COULDNT BE! Then it ended, and I’m thinking,, the odds are sooooo remote its just not funny, and anyway, she is overstayed her visa and should be back in Australia…

Anyway, I started throwing people out of the way and I pushed to the front of the crowd and gave her a big bearhug! It was Jodie afterall!! I dont fucking beleive it!! I also realised at that point I had used up all my lifes ‘what-are-the-odds-of-that’ points (so now i’ll never win tatslotto, marry a supermodel, etc). Id been carrying a torch for this girl since I met her over two years prior in London, then she disappeared two years ago.. Never thought I would ever see her again..

What a shock eh… She introduced me to her other half, who took our photo. :(

You can tell its a fringe act by her costume, tie-dyed shirt, gumboots, and around the gumboot ankle is bottle tops on string.. ohyeah! FRINGE THEATRE ACT! hahahahah

Took in some more fringe acts, and set a time to meet Jodie after her last nights performace that night.

Didnt manage to find her that night, tho.. Seeing her stirred up some stuff so I went off to sample some whisky.

What follows, I wasnt going to add, but then thought fuck it, whats the point if you cant write what you want to write??

Wandered around. Got into an argument and started a fight with some english bloke. it was short and sweet, i remmeber hyperextending his elbow and slamming one across his throat and dropping him to the ground then I wandered off. We were talking about sport or something and he was slagging Australia off, and things just got worse and he kept inviting it saying I didnt have the balls.. So i just went for it.

Went back to the hostel bar, met Taryn, a gorgeous blonde saffer. Chatting away, talking bout the hostel, turned out we were staying in the same room! The fight i dont care about. But I broke one of my personal rules.. I dont do onenight stands. Dont and Wont. Its a _RULE_ Well I broke that one. I’m so angry at myself i might not go near drink ever again. So anyway. Back in the room. blah blah blah.

Then this slurry voice goes “Dont forget Taryn, we need to ring your father in the morning before we leave for the ferry”

WHAT?!?$%$?$%^
FUCKING WHAAAAAAT??????

Her half drunk mum is in the 3rd and final bed.
I think I went green.

Nowhere in the convo in the bar did it crop up that ‘Mum and I are going around Scotland and Ireland’
or
‘My mother is ALSO staying in the SAME room’…

next morning was fun. I dont think her mother remembered, or if she did she was very sly about it.

(tm=taryns mum, me=me)
tm: “Did you have a good night last night?” (to me)
me: “oh yeah, it was um.. good.”
tm: “thats nice, were going to Ireland today”
me: “umm cool...”
tm: “these beds are squeeky”
me: “ummm yes...”
tm: “the people next door were making a bit of noise last night”
me: “err.. yes..”
tm: “but I suppose its a hostel, and its all young people and alchohol” (laughs)
me: “err.. yes...”

so much for the rules I live by… what does that matter when theres fighting and whoring! No more drink for stu. Ive just thrown out the last of my rum and whisky. No booze left in my place now.... cant believe how badly I behaved and screwed up bigtime. :(

Sunday was an uneventfull day, basically it was a 5 hour train ride back to london. The only fun came when two kids (bout 18ish) got booted from first class by the conductor.

Trains at Liverpool street were cancelled (heat stress to the rails) and those that were running, like 1 every hour were affected by Sunday construction.. great stuff..

Eventually I did make it home… Now I’ve got all this washing to do! aaargh.. ohwell…

I’m sure i’m forgetting something.. anyway…

I’ve got more pics here here