Stu's Rusty Bucket

Saturday, June 14, 2003

Death Test :: November 23, 2059, aged 84

Death Test

Mark your calendar or Palm V. You can expect to die on:

November 23, 2059
at the age of 84 years old.

On that date you will most likely die from:

Heart Attack (19%)
Cancer (14%)
Alien Abduction (10%)
Drowning (10%)
Alcoholism (8%)
Third Degree Burns (7%)
Homicide (6%)
Horrible Accident (5%)

Interesting stats from the DeathTest:

12680327 people have taken the DeathTest.
Of those, 55% were female and 45% were male.
The average life expectancy of test takers is 67 years.
10% of test takers have hairy nipples.
4% have had team sex.
8% work in the porn business.
And 234291 people claim to have leprosy.

Disclaimer: We, despite being proficient with the human anatomy, are not doctors. Keep that in mind before calling your lawyer as you’re clutching your left arm moaning “Damn you, Spark, Damn YOU!” on November 23, 2059, as you slip silently into the night.